One of the most common behaviors of any abuser is to fault their victim for the abuse. The abuser will constantly blame their victims, this is their way of letting themselves off the hook and brainwashing the victim into believing their actions (the victims) are what truly caused the abuse. Even after the victim has escaped from their abuser and is learning how to cope as a survivor, they may still believe that, they may have given their perpetrator a reason to abuse them. The perpetrators of domestic violence will never introduce themselves as abusive individuals. They are usually very charming and nice upon first sight. Once they've charmed their way into their victim's life, their true colors come to the surface. Leaving victims and survivors wondering what caused such a drastic change. Nine times out of ten, it will take time away from the abuser for the survivor to comprehend that the mistreatment was never their fault.
This is where a strong support system is needed. Families and friends of domestic violence survivors can help the survivor by letting him or her know that they are not at fault and they're not alone. Assure them that the abuse was never their fault and there was nothing they could have done to stop it.
Perpetrators of domestic violence misbehave in such a heinous manner because of shortcomings on their end, not on the end of their victims. Hopefully, with time, the survivor will understand that the abuse they went through is a character flaw on the end of the perpetrator and not themselves.
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